OK, I feel much safer now

From the Daily Show With Jon Stewart:

We begin tonight with a shakeup in the cabinet. After serving President Bush for four glorious, terror-filled years, Attorney General John Ashcroft announced his resignation yesterday with a statement reading in part, 'the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

OK! Done, and done. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to cure cancer. Call you after turkey day.

The resignation came in the form of a five-page letter Ashcroft handwrote so that, quote, 'its confidentiality could be maintained.' So apparently America is safe other than the computers at the Justice Department. But really, how important are those intelligence-wise?